The Life of Osaki Nana

What is Going On?

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:09:00 -0400

Hachi, I saw Takumi in London. I know Trapnest is over, but what is he doing here? Will you be coming here too? And he was with a little boy… is he your son? Was your baby a boy?

I miss you, Hachi. I hope you’re moving to London, even if it’s to be with Takumi. I want to be supportive of your relationship, even though he’s a stupid womanizer that doesn’t deserve you.

The bartender at the “pub” always talked about this...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:59:00 -0400

The bartender at the “pub” always talked about this band, so I picked up one of their albums. This was one of my favourite songs and I decided to add it to my set list last Tuesday night. Some of the drunk men cried, and after I finished singing it, I cried too.

I want to sing this song for you, Hachi. I wish I could fix you.

These are some photos the bartender at the “pub”...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:52:06 -0400

These are some photos the bartender at the “pub” took. I look so different now, don’t I? I can’t believe that I had short black hair years ago. I look at pictures from the BLAST debut album, and I feel like I’m looking at a different person. But it’s okay. I did this so the paparazzi doesn’t find me all the way in England.

But I’m sorry I’m so far away from you now, Hachi. I hope you can hear me where ever you are.

lifestylebygoldie: The Clachan pub, off Carnaby St,...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:48:55 -0400

lifestylebygoldie:

The Clachan pub, off Carnaby St, London

This is the “pub” where I sing on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I’ve been singing for about a couple weeks now, but they love my voice. They say my Japanese accent is funny, but sounds lovely when I sing. I’m glad I can make people happy with my voice here too. Maybe music is universal.

Getting Back on My Feet

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:39:47 -0400

I have amazing news, Hachi. I got a part-time gig at a small “pub” a few blocks down from my apartment! I’ll only be singing on Tuesday and Thursday nights for now, but I hope they’ll want me to sing more nights once they hear me on stage.

I’ll have to write new songs because I’m not sure they’ll want to hear the punk songs I used to sing for BLAST. I wish I was like Reira who could write lovely melodies that everyone liked. But maybe it’s because she’s a lovelier person than I am.

Hachi, I really hope the rumors about Reira and Takumi aren’t true. If they are, please come to London. With the money I made from the BLAST album debut, I could take care of both you and your baby. I know I can.

Panic

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:30:00 -0400

Hachi, I had a dream about Ren. It was the future, and we were married. We were back at that apartment above the warehouse where his parents abandoned him. I was pregnant. We were going to start a family: something Ren has always wanted.

I woke up, and I couldn’t breathe. I did the whole “paper bag” technique Yasu and the doctors taught me. After a few minutes, I was able to control my breathing again. I was covered in sweat, and even though I knew it was a dream, I started crying.

I opened my bedroom door, and nobody was there. All I could see was the small lamp I forgot to turn off and the bills I almost forgot to pay on time. I forgot that I wasn’t back in Apartment #707 with you.

I miss him. And I miss you, Hachi.

Life in London

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:23:00 -0400

It’s been a little over two months since I’ve arrived in London. The streets are weird compared to Tokyo’s and it’s definitely a bit quieter. I moved into a smart apartment that gets no sunlight and doesn’t have a bathtub, and the room number is 103; no 7’s like in our old apartment. Guess the Demon Lord didn’t follow me to London.

Life is quiet here. I’ve done a few random jobs here and there to support myself, but I’m trying to find a vocalist gig at a bar or maybe even a small coffee house. I definitely miss singing on a big open stage, but for now, even a run-down “pub” as the English call it will suffice.

I miss you, Hachi. You’re probably very pregnant right now. Are you feeling well? Is Takumi treating you well? I hope he is, and I hope you’re happy even though I still believe that you deserve better than him.

connors-cigarette-fail: Tube Map The trains are so bizarre...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 15:04:16 -0400

connors-cigarette-fail:

Tube Map

The trains are so bizarre here, and they’re not as fast as the bullet train that went to Tokyo. The bullet train from Osaka to Tokyo took about 2 hours tops, except for the first time we met on the train when it was snowing outside. I wish I could go back to that day.

aetatis-suae: The Thames and Westminster by n.pantazis on...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:55:15 -0400

aetatis-suae:

The Thames and Westminster by n.pantazis on Flickr.

Just arrived in London a few days ago. It’s so different here, Hachi. I’m not sure you would like it because it rains here a lot, and you never liked the rain. Or maybe you just didn’t like how that one hurricane cancelled the fireworks festival years ago.

Leaving for London

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 23:23:00 -0400

Hachi, I’ve decided to leave Japan and travel overseas. With all of the chaos going on with SEARCH and my birth mother, I can’t sing well anymore here. The pressure from the media is stifling my voice and making it impossible for me to go a day or two without hyperventilating.

But it’s okay. I’m used to not having a home or a family. Who knows, maybe this will be a good thing for me. I moved to Tokyo and met you, Hachi. And who knows, maybe I’ll be able to sing better in England, the home of the Sex Pistols.

I’ll miss you, Hachi. I hope you don’t take this as a break-up letter, but rather a fierce love letter because when I make it as a solo artist, I’ll come back for you.

Hachi, I wonder if the dollar store by the train station is...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 22:23:30 -0400

Hachi, I wonder if the dollar store by the train station is still there… If it is, I hope they still have those glasses. I’m sorry for breaking them.

I remember when Nobu let me borrow his Sex Pistols’ C.D....

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:45:20 -0400

I remember when Nobu let me borrow his Sex Pistols’ C.D. This was one of my favourite songs.

I forgot my old vivienne coat before leaving japan. Maybe...

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:41:00 -0400

I forgot my old vivienne coat before leaving japan. Maybe I’ll buy a new one? This one is pretty cute.

i love nancy. maybe i’ll grow my hair out and dye it...

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:38:57 -0400

i love nancy. maybe i’ll grow my hair out and dye it blonde like hers?

I don't know where I'm going...

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:21:00 -0400

but I know I can’t stay here.

Yasu told me that Ren’s dead. I didn’t think Ren would ever leave me. I disregarded it because in all honesty, I couldn’t believe he was really… gone.

I thought our fates were tied together. We were going to get old, eventually he would retire from Trapnest and Blast would break up, and we would go back to that apartment above that warehouse where we once lived. Ironically, it was the apartment he crashed into that night he was looking for me or Reira. I hope he was looking for me.

Hachi, I’m sorry; I’m sorry I had to leave, I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye, I’m sorry I won’t be there for you when your baby finally arrives.

I guess one is brought into the world when the other leaves.