Hachi, I saw Takumi in London. I know Trapnest is over, but what is he doing here? Will you be coming here too? And he was with a little boy… is he your son? Was your baby a boy?
I miss you, Hachi. I hope you’re moving to London, even if it’s to be with Takumi. I want to be supportive of your relationship, even though he’s a stupid womanizer that doesn’t deserve you.
The bartender at the “pub” always talked about this band, so I picked up one of their albums. This was one of my favourite songs and I decided to add it to my set list last Tuesday night. Some of the drunk men cried, and after I finished singing it, I cried too.
I want to sing this song for you, Hachi. I wish I could fix you.
These are some photos the bartender at the “pub” took. I look so different now, don’t I? I can’t believe that I had short black hair years ago. I look at pictures from the BLAST debut album, and I feel like I’m looking at a different person. But it’s okay. I did this so the paparazzi doesn’t find me all the way in England.
But I’m sorry I’m so far away from you now, Hachi. I hope you can hear me where ever you are.
I have amazing news, Hachi. I got a part-time gig at a small “pub” a few blocks down from my apartment! I’ll only be singing on Tuesday and Thursday nights for now, but I hope they’ll want me to sing more nights once they hear me on stage.
I’ll have to write new songs because I’m not sure they’ll want to hear the punk songs I used to sing for BLAST. I wish I was like Reira who could write lovely melodies that everyone liked. But maybe it’s because she’s a lovelier person than I am.
Hachi, I really hope the rumors about Reira and Takumi aren’t true. If they are, please come to London. With the money I made from the BLAST album debut, I could take care of both you and your baby. I know I can.
Hachi, I had a dream about Ren. It was the future, and we were married. We were back at that apartment above the warehouse where his parents abandoned him. I was pregnant. We were going to start a family: something Ren has always wanted.
I woke up, and I couldn’t breathe. I did the whole “paper bag” technique Yasu and the doctors taught me. After a few minutes, I was able to control my breathing again. I was covered in sweat, and even though I knew it was a dream, I started crying.
I opened my bedroom door, and nobody was there. All I could see was the small lamp I forgot to turn off and the bills I almost forgot to pay on time. I forgot that I wasn’t back in Apartment #707 with you.
I miss him. And I miss you, Hachi.
It’s been a little over two months since I’ve arrived in London. The streets are weird compared to Tokyo’s and it’s definitely a bit quieter. I moved into a smart apartment that gets no sunlight and doesn’t have a bathtub, and the room number is 103; no 7’s like in our old apartment. Guess the Demon Lord didn’t follow me to London.
Life is quiet here. I’ve done a few random jobs here and there to support myself, but I’m trying to find a vocalist gig at a bar or maybe even a small coffee house. I definitely miss singing on a big open stage, but for now, even a run-down “pub” as the English call it will suffice.
I miss you, Hachi. You’re probably very pregnant right now. Are you feeling well? Is Takumi treating you well? I hope he is, and I hope you’re happy even though I still believe that you deserve better than him.
Hachi, I’ve decided to leave Japan and travel overseas. With all of the chaos going on with SEARCH and my birth mother, I can’t sing well anymore here. The pressure from the media is stifling my voice and making it impossible for me to go a day or two without hyperventilating.
But it’s okay. I’m used to not having a home or a family. Who knows, maybe this will be a good thing for me. I moved to Tokyo and met you, Hachi. And who knows, maybe I’ll be able to sing better in England, the home of the Sex Pistols.
I’ll miss you, Hachi. I hope you don’t take this as a break-up letter, but rather a fierce love letter because when I make it as a solo artist, I’ll come back for you.
doer of strange part-time jobs by day, vocalist for the punk rock band Black Stones (BLAST) by night. i like: cakes with strawberries on top, the color purple, vivienne westwood, coffee with milk, sex pistols, seven stars cigarettes and the lotus flower.
I first came across Vivienne Westwood rings more than 10 years ago but I have noticed they have...
I miss her~
